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I Thought My Past Disqualified Me

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV)

When I first started following Jesus, I was sure my past had disqualified me.

A rap sheet I was ashamed of.

A list of things I'd done that I didn't want to say out loud to anybody.

I figured God might forgive a guy like me.

Actually using me was a whole different story.

Too much dirt on my hands.

I kept the worst of it hidden and stayed in the back, where I figured I belonged.

Maybe you know that feeling.

You're waiting to be any use to God until the embarrassing part of your story isn't so embarrassing anymore.

Paul begged God three times to take his weakness away.

Three times, and the answer kept coming back "no".

Not because God couldn't do it.

The weakness was the window His power was planning to shine through.

That flipped everything I believed about being qualified.

God qualifies the unqualified.

That's the reason He gave up His own Son to a cross.

The weakest, most humiliating afternoon there ever was, a man bleeding out on a Roman cross, turned into the thing that cracked death wide open.

Jesus died, got buried, and rose, and the lowest point the world ever saw became the doorway out of the grave.

Your low point doesn't embarrass Him.

He's been making doorways out of low points since the beginning.

Here's how you carry this today:

  1. Take the thing you're ashamed of and stop asking God to only erase it.

Start asking what He wants to build through it instead.

  1. Say it where it can do some good.

The testimony you keep hiding is the one somebody across the room is dying to hear.

  1. When you feel too weak and messed up to be any use, remember that's exactly the qualification.

Weakness is the window His power shines through. It was never the thing that takes you out of the running.

PRAYER

Almighty God, You said Your strength shows up best right where I'm weakest, and I want to live like I believe that.

Take the part of me I keep hidden in the back and let Your power rest on it.

I'm done waiting until I'm impressive enough to be used.

Use the scars.

Use the years I'd rather forget.

In Jesus' mighty name. Amen.