Why You Can't Stop "People Pleasing"

You said yes again.

You didn't have it in you. You knew you shouldn't have said yes, and the word still came out of your mouth.

Yes. Again.

Then you spent the rest of the night mad at yourself.

Why is it so hard to let people down?

People-pleasing is rooted in fear. The Bible explains this plainly.

"The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe."
Proverbs 29:25 (KJV)

A snare is a trap. You think you're just being a good person who's there for everybody. Really, you're the one stuck in it, and it's wearing you out.

Paul says you can't serve two crowds. If he was still out there trying to please people, he couldn't be a servant of Christ. You're not built to play both sides of the fence.

Picture what you're actually doing all day.

You're auditioning. Every yes is a line you read hoping the room claps.

You do it at work. You do it at home with your own family, always reading the room to see if everybody's good with you.

God cast you before you ever performed.

That approval you're killing yourself to earn, God already gave it to you for free. He said yes to you at the cross, back when you were at your absolute worst, long before anybody ever clapped for you.

That's the only audience that was ever going to matter.

When you live for an audience of One, the other voices don't disappear, but they stop running you. You can disappoint a person and still be completely secure.

Here's how you start living for God today.

1. Catch the yes before it leaves your mouth.

When the ask comes, take one breath and ask yourself who you're scared to disappoint. Half the battle is just seeing the snare for what it is.

2. Say no to one thing this week you'd normally cave on.

Let somebody be a little disappointed in you on purpose. You'll survive it. So will they. The fear promises a disaster that almost never shows up.

3. Preach the verdict to yourself before your feet hit the floor.

Read Galatians 1:10 in the morning. Remind yourself you already have the approval you're about to spend all day chasing. Play to the One who already clapped.

PRAYER

God, I've been living and dying by what people think of me.

I've said yes with nothing left in the tank just to keep everybody happy.

Thank You that You approved me before I ever performed for anyone.

Help me trust that Your yes is louder than a room full of applause.

Thank You that the cross already settled what I keep trying to earn.

Today I step off the stage and stop auditioning for a part You already gave me.

In Jesus' precious name we pray. Amen.