Why Being Seen Isn't the Same as Being Known

I'm a pastor and have preached for 19years between my church and the Nursing home ministry, but that isn't the reason why God knew me. God knew me long before there was a single person listening to the message, and He'd know me just the same if every one of them disappeared tomorrow.

For many years, even before I became a pastor, I thought being seen was the same as being known. Especially in this generation.

When you post something vulnerable, you can rack up thousands of likes. When you show up online with any consistency, people start learning your name.

None of these things mean that a single person knows you.

Think about it. A lot of people see you every day.

Your coworkers see you. Your church sees you. But how many of them know what you're carrying inside?

Do they know what keeps you up at night? Are they aware of the version of you that only shows up when nobody's watching?

Most people would say no. If you feel like that, you're definitely not alone.

I used to be in a room with a hundred homies and still felt like none of them knew me on the inside.

The question most people never ask out loud is, "Can I be the real me here without losing you?"

When I thought about that question early in my walk, my answer was no. I was too afraid the unpolished, still-struggling version of me was too much for anybody.

So what did I do? I tried to level up, and it shifted me into performance instead of peace.

Depending on the people I was around, I'd present whichever version got me the most applause and validation.

That carries you for a second. It even feels good for a second. But what I realized is it never touched the part of me that was actually vulnerable and starving.

You can be the most visible person in the room and at the same time be the most hidden one in it.

I lived like this even prior to receiving salvation. In the streets, I had status. People knew me. Some of them feared me. But nobody knew the real me.

I couldn't show weakness, and I definitely couldn't be honest about what was happening inside. It would be seen as compromised or weak.

After I got got saved, God gave me a calling. But I recognized He spent years pruning and preparing me for that stage.

The Lord saw all my blind spots and searched inside of me, knowing my heart long before I ever preached the gospel to millions. He let me struggle before I was ever seen.

Here's what He showed me: if you want the spotlight, you're not ready for it.

I used to think being vulnerable, especially after years of learning to never show weakness, felt like a death sentence.

But I'm so thankful God didn't let me stay there. Every motive and every fear I had ever buried, He already knew, and He was already aware of how to remove them.

What God was showing me is that He doesn't just see me. He knows me, all the way down to the version I was hiding from everybody else.

What's amazing is that even though He knew all my flaws and blemishes, all my lackings and struggles, He still didn't leave.

When you're fully known and fully loved by God, you stop needing everyone else to know you. You quit reaching for likes and comments to feel something only God was ever meant to fill.

It's not to say you don't need people anymore. Of course you still do. We're communal creatures. But you start to notice you stop needing people to be God for you.

Wanting a couple of people to know you is healthy. Needing the whole world to approve of you is when it turns into idolatry.

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want."
Psalm 23:1 (KJV)

When the Lord is actually guiding you, you stop seeking the approval and guidance of other people, because the deepest part of your need is already met by God.

He understands you fully, without any of the filters. When He saw everything He found in you, He still chose you over His own Son on the cross.

He saw the worst of you and went to the cross anyway. Nothing about you is hidden from Him, and He still chose you.

Where does that leave you after realizing this?

I stopped trying to be known by people. I started to rest in the fact that Jesus was the only One I needed to be known by and acknowledged by.

Here's how to walk this out

1. Remind yourself of who actually knows you.
Jesus Christ knows every hair on your head and understands every struggle you're going through. He's not just aware of it from a distance. He's involved in it.

2. Wean yourself off social media.
What I call a social media detox. They say comparison is the thief of joy. The more you feed your mind with comparison, the more your gratitude gets affected. When gratitude is affected, you start to complain more, and you isolate.

3. Take a step toward being known biblically.
What I mean by that is not with everyone. With the One Person you can always trust, which is God. From there it can branch out to other people too. Instead of the polished "I'm good," tell the truth: "I'm struggling right now." People will start to see the vulnerability. The right people will gravitate toward you and lift you up in prayer.

PRAYER:

Father God,
For so long I've confused being seen with being known. I built things that looked full from the outside and still felt empty on the inside.

But You searched me. You went all the way to the bottom of who I am, and You stayed.

Today I stop performing for the world's approval, and I rest in the fact that You already know me completely.

Help me stop reaching for the likes and the comments to fill what only You were ever meant to fill. Help me let the right people in. Not everyone. Just the ones I can actually trust. Give me the courage to drop the polished version and tell the truth when somebody asks how I'm really doing.

Being seen was never the goal. Being known by You always was.

In Jesus' precious name we pray. Amen.